After I wrote my first article about polygamy: https://hebaamr.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/polygamy-my-non-magical-solution/
I felt I was abused by some husbands who went recommending my article to their wives teasingly saying:“look how wise ladies think” bla bla bla
Hold no dear brothers, if you are going to recommend my first article to your wives, I’m recommending this one for you and for your brides-to be:
Before you decide to use your so called “right”, kindly ask yourself the following questions:
– Do I “need” or do I “want” to marry an “extra” woman?
– Have I fulfilled my duties properly enough to start searching for extra rights?
I mentioned in my previous article that the prophet -PBUH- and lots of his companions did it. Well, are you a good husband to that extent: do you mend your shoes like prophet Muhammad PBUH? Are you at your family’s service like him PBUH?
What was the effort you exerted to improve your marital life? And if it needed no improvement, what is the best way to pay your wife back or show appreciation?
Do you care about the quality of inputs you are filling your head with: what do you watch on TV? What do you see online? What subjects do you discuss with your friends? Are you competing to see who’s the guy who’s gonna make it?!
Do you have extra extra money for the following items, just for example:
1- Buying or renting a new house
2- Minimum celebration for the new bride
3- Constant compensating gifts for the first wife, second wife, & probably your children. (Although materialistic gift is the last thing anybody wants)
4- Hiring a driver & extra workers to compensate your disappearance from each house?
And then if you have all that money (Masha’Allah) would you mind reminding you of something: Have you compared your need for a second wife to the need of a bachelor to a first wife? Why not help one, you generous man? (A wide smile)
Do you have extra time & energy for the following:
1- Tolerating the reaction of your first wife and her family (everybody will know sooner or later) which could be: outstanding rage, insisting on divorce (not to mention the consequences on your kids), hating you…
2- Giving the right quality time for your kids who already miss their dad in this career-hectic world.
I need Dad… Sorry he’s at work
I need Dad.. Sorry he’s at his other “home”
3- Starting a new life, which never merely means “bed-life” if you’re thinking so. It’s new responsibilities with a human being who has rights, needs, mood swings, interests, family, style of life…
If you are Mr Lucky Super Husband who has the 5 Rs qualities:
RICH – RESPONSIBLE – RELIGIOUS (truly) – REALISTIC – ROMANTIC
Then go on guy with all my best wishes, only remember that this will be added to your accountability in the life after, and that sins towards God can be forgiven by HIS mercy, but injustice to human being will never be forgiven unless those human beings forgave you.
Dear first wives,
Dear second wives-to be,
Probably you wouldn’t have wished for this situation, and you – like any other lady- were looking for a loving husband for you only. But for some reason, you had to accept this situation. But before accepting, please consider the following:
1- You might be a reason –directly or indirectly- to a family crash. That means more broken-hearted single ladies in the society and psycho-prone children.
2- Don’t undervalue yourself:
Why accept to be in the shadows? (Yes the society shares the responsibility of urging people to do so, but still: what on earth would let you accept that?)
Why accept left-over money?
Why accept left-over time?
3- Don’t have double standards, and put yourself in the first wife shoes and answer honestly: If you were in her place would you accept this? What will be your opinion in such husband?)
Ladies who receive second marriage proposals are usually either relatively old girls or ladies with previous marriage experience which supposedly should give them the potential to evaluate the person & situation clearly and not to be deceived by illusions.
Unless you find a respectable appreciative non-selfish offer from a 5 Rs man: DONOT ACCEPT
I hope we focus on building our countries with more strong families.. and I hope I will not write part 3 🙂