Traveling alone

Usually when I pack for traveling with my family, I try to make it simple and bring the minimum for my self but I bring extra stuff for my family for several reasons:
1. I can’t stand the situation when my husband asks for something and don’t find it :s
Although this might happen by accident of course, and my husband -thank God- is flexible at those things. But I try to anticipate his needs as much as I can.
2. Kids accidents are highly expected…
3. I trust myself that whatever happens, – with Allah’s guidance- I will always find a way.

This time, I’m traveling alone without my precious family. My packing is totally different.

Guess what?!

- I brought accessories with me.. A bracelet for each day with matching colors!

- I brought my full nail care kit! The 4 steps nail filing.. Yes 4 steps for each nail! I already filed my nails before writing this post

- I even brought my eyelashes oil and my eyebrows brush!!

Well.. That was the comic part. Rather than that it’s an overwhelming experience that has just started. I wish I will write about it daily.

Arrived to the airport.

You are how you shoot!

While trying to learn shooting with a bow, I reflected all what I was learning to real life.

1- What may look so easy, could be so hard. Don’t judge from outside.

2- Never be so happy by hitting the target nor too sad by missing it, there is always another round.

3- Forget about the past, don’t worry about the future, focus in this current moment, do it right and enjoy it anyways.

4- The snow ball effect is real. Embracing new habit (whether good or bad) will eventually introduce its sister. Example here: To perform well in archery, you will have to work on your general fitness, you will watch your diet, you will struggle to manage your time,… etc.

5- In the archery target, every color has two grades, except for the gold they are three: graded 9, 10 and 10x.

www.rovingarchers.com

The “good” has a sharper tuning to upgrade it to “excellent”. Although “A” is the best grade, yet there is always someone who will get an “A+”.

To be continued

“Have a big problem?”.. Try my Social First Aid Tips

source: www.lelong.com.my

For every problem, there is a solution.

Try to cheer up and believe me. Why should I deceive you anyway??!

Okay.. You probably will not find that solution in a blink of an eye.. you will have to work for it.. but till then, try my first aid procedures, I guarantee it will make a difference:

1. Calm down.. Calm down.. Calm down

You will never take the right action or decision while you are angry, nervous or terrified.

Do what it takes to calm down (I mean all safe non-addictive procedures):

Drink anise & chamomile all day, take a warm bath, ask for massage, sleep if you can, spray lavender or any calming essential oil all over the house …. And on the top of all calmatives, comes tip #2

2. Thikr.. Thikr.. Thikr… Thikr is always accompanied with the word “lot”:

Payers upon the prophet… La Hawla Wala Quwwata Ila Billah …. Istighfar..

Hundreds.. hundreds, you will feel stronger than whoever or whatever causing you the problem.

And on the top of Thikr comes tip #3

3. Qur’an.. Read or play Surat Al-Baqara around the house, read Ruqya for whoever is affected by the problem.

Reading Surat Al-Baqara expels the devil out of the house for 3 days, and sure we want the angels to attend instead, here comes tip #4

4. Clean, declutter and perfume the house. The angels disdain what we disdain. So please welcome the guests generously.

5. Remember the following:

- You are not the first one to face this problem.

- However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

- Diamonds are formed under pressure.

6. Seek for honest and professional advice

Again: Honest and Professional. Honesty alone will not be as helpful, professional alone could be manipulative.

Don’t be shy or arrogant to ask for help, or else you will suffer forever.

Finally and most importantly: grab the chance, it’s one of the perfect times to get closer to Allah, your best companion ever. May be He just wanted to hear your voice in sincere prayers.

Recommended readings: Don’t be sad – Al-Qarni

To whom I belong?.. Unions & Intersections

Have you ever wondered about your identity? I did, and I can see it like that in my mind:

Humanity:

It’s the basic common nature we all share. I always clearly see how similar we are although we seem different. Motherhood, fatherhood, friendship, homesickness, love.. are some aspects of this humanity.

Females:

Then I cannot neglect the effect of my sex in drawing my identity, but not in an extreme feminist point of view. I can just say that I appreciate females so much for several reasons:

- A female can do most male roles, while he can’t do hers.

- In every positive gathering: lectures, voluntary work,… you can see as much females as you wish but as less males unfortunately.

- When females believe in something, they give generously, love passionately.. so much power!

As for males, I cannot say anything cuz a male is my dad, my brother, my teacher, my husband, my son, my colleague… So no hard feelings at all dear colleagues in this world

Arab:

Ironically I’m writing in English about my Arabic roots! But this has nothing to do with my real identity. I did have a general problem in expressing myself, and when the writing skill evolved, it sparked in English first, but the Arabic is yet to come Insha’Allah.

Egypt.. my beloved:

It’s in the heart as the diagram shows.

I remember every time I come back to Egypt from abroad, and how my heart beats or my tears fall with the first sight of the Egyptian land, with the first breath of the Egyptian air – yes no matter how much polluted it is.

In the Arab world, I always felt so much appreciated – most of the time – for being Egyptian. In Lebanon, people would listen to me so much respectfully. In Saudi Arabia, vendors would smile involuntary before I would ask about the price of anything, not making fun but expecting fun. In Europe, I’d see a different look: a mix of astonishment & cautiousness followed by respect & admiration, but this has to do with the other circles as well: a smiling veiled Muslim, Egyptian & Arabic female!

I’ve always asked myself what is it that I love so much in Egypt, is it the land? Ok what about the land after the so-called borders? May be I’ll write someday about the illusion of borders because they are meaningless to me.
Is it the people? Is it the culture? Is it the history?

Well I think I love Egypt for all of that. I dream of seeing Egypt a stronger country very soon Insha’Allah cuz it deserves the best. And I work for that as much as I can.

Islam:

I delayed talking about my religion only cuz it’s the strongest root. Yes the strongest for many reasons:

1- The first 4 circles, I didn’t choose them yet I thank Allah for creating me an Arabic Egyptian female. And although I was born as a Muslim, yet I’m old enough to say that I’ve thought sincerely & searched seriously & I do choose Islam (another article needed).

2- The religion is a very long term relationship. It’s about life & after-life. And the after-life will be eternal. And Allah will account us with no discrimination based on sex, ethnicity or nationality. So I cannot depend on anything for a better after-life rather than Allah’s mercy, a pure heart and good deeds.

3- People with the same belief have a very special bond regardless of ethnicities or nationalities.

4- There is no conflict between my strong attachment to my religion & my love to my country or my ethnic group or sex.

5- Belonging to Allah, gives me the strongest power & the truest serenity.

Those were my main 5 circles that I work seriously to make each of them proud of me. I can look at them:

From outside to inside:

If I’m a good human being making good use of my mind (which distinguish me from animals), I will certainly search for the Creator of this universe. I will search for the message He sent to us. I found it is Islam.

Qur’an, our Holy Book is in Arabic. The center of the Arab world is my beloved Egypt.

From inside to outside:

If Egypt’s general status is better, the Arab world would be better, thus the Muslims around the world would be better and finally the world would be a better place for all of us.

Other circles:

I can add as much circles as you wish, circles of interests & ideas. But here I chose those five as the main dimensions for me.

One last important point:

Being confident & proud of what I belong to doesn’t mean disrespect for other circles other people belong to.

After all, there are things out of our choice, and the things that we can choose, Allah has given us minds to think & choose. So all my respect to anyone who seriously think with his/her mind & sincerely listen to his/her heart.

The best of NOW

Source: http://www.oldwatches.co/

I always try to make the best use of time as much as I can. Sometimes you’d better grab the chance or you will have to wait for too long.

When I’m not pregnant, I make sure I’ll do some of the following:

• Put on shoes with high heels.
• Dye my hair.
• Play aerobics, ride a bicycle, ride a horse.
• Work seriously.

When my husband is travelling, I make sure to do some of the following:

• Put on the yuckiest face masks.
• Sleep over the night with Henna on my hair.
• Sleep over the night with natural body moisturizers:  glycerin & lemon, olive oil…
• Tidy up the dressing cupboard small part each day.
• Convince my sons that the TV is currently out of service.
• Skip my dinner or minimize it, and spend the night reading my waiting list books or doing my waiting list phone calls or watching my favourite show on the “fixed to me only” TV.

When I’m unemployed, I make sure to do some of the following:

• Get up late.
• Go to the aerobics class more often.
• Go to the hairdresser more often.
• Enjoy morning visits with stay-at-home friends.
• Do lots of deep cleaning & tidy up.
• Volunteer more often.

When I have a sleeping baby, I make sure to do some of the following:

• Never wake up a sleeping baby.
• Pray.
• Have a shower.
• Quality time with other family members.
• Sleep as well.

This list can go forever, but making the best use of now, I’m gonna sleeeeeep.. Good night

Polygamy.. My non magical solution

Source: www.istockphoto.com

Oh you men.. You’re just the same all over the world! Here comes the call for help again & again: “My husband wants to marry another woman..”

And to be honest, we –women- are also the same, and by “we” here I mean the first wives, cuz seriously there are other women in this world too!

Now back to the question: “What will I do if (actually it’s: when) my husband wants to remarry another wife? I simply can’t stand that situation”

Come on ladies, clear your minds and hearts and let’s discuss it from the beginning:

I assume myself to have lots of friends of different backgrounds and I assume myself also to be a good open-minded reader. So what I’ll list now is some info & phenomena based on my personal observation for years. For more scientific approach, evidence would need citation, which is not the situation here.

1- Men tend to want another partner, so in a free community, infidelity is a common problem, while in a Muslim conservative community, polygamy is the issue.

2- My girl friends who approached thirties, received lots of marriage proposals from married men in the past few years. And surprisingly (only at that time) they think about them, and here are some of their feedback:
- I will refuse cuz I don’t want to be number 10 in his priorities list after his first wife and kids.
- I’m afraid I might accept cuz I’m getting old, I don’t receive other proposals & I’m in a deep physical & emotional need of a husband.
- All my married friends claim that their husbands hint for the second marriage issue, so if that is going to happen anyway, why don’t I accept to be the delightful second wife instead of being the testy first wife?
- Real men are already married, other grooms-to-be are too “soft” to be my MAN.

Then extra-info if you are a Muslim:

1- Polygamy is allowed.

2- Lots –if not most- of the Prophet Companions did it actually.

3- Be true to yourself: if you are claiming to be a good Muslim while actually you don’t like something that doesn’t go with your preferences, then you will have to re-think about that religion.

4-      Don’t bother yourself with issues like: he cannot take care of 2 houses, he can never be just,..  If your husband chose to marry another woman, he is the one who will be accounted for that, not you.  So concentrate on yourself and leave his judgment to Allah.

By this part of the post, I know you are shocked, but please be honest and spend time & effort in order to see clearly the whole big picture. And after all I’m not promoting for polygamy, I’m just trying to advise you to deal practically with something very common. What if someone is telling you about a successful divorce story, would he/she be promoting for divorce?? No.. We are just trying to get the best out of what we already have.

Anyway, here’s the non magical solution that I’m suggesting: Two parallel workplans at the same time:

ME & WE

The ME plan:
This plan can be applied to anybody, not only a wife “defending” her marriage.
Goal: That I would be a self-controlled, self-satisfied, balanced, happy, productive, closely connected to Allah regardless of being married or not, having kids or not, having a great job or not…
Condition: Do it to live a better life not to stop your husband from re marrying.

Steps:
What did I tell you before getting married ?
1- A clear vision for life
We are not living here forever. It’s a trip. Then eternal life in the place which we chose to invest in.. hopefully Paradise by Allah’s mercy.

Life is a series of tests. Some tests are easy, others are difficult. Some tests are short, others are long.

What if my husband married another woman?? What’s the weight of that “problem” compared to what people face from real problems all over the world? Compared to a Palestinian lady who lost her husband & her sons defending their land? To a young man who lost his eyes defending his freedom in Egypt? To a starving child in Somalia? To a Syrian family who don’t know whether their son is alive or not? …….. etc

Put things in their proper place.

2- Nurture yourself
• When was the last time that you read a book for your own mental interest?
• When was the last time you met your school friends?
• When was the last time you played sports?
• When was the last time you practiced your favourite hobby?
• Have you ever been to a spa? Have you tried massage?
• When was the last time you volunteered?
• When was the last time you attended a lecture? Went to a concert?
• How often do you read Qur’an? Learn tafseer?
• When was the last time you cooked for yourself, your favourite dish?
If you say I don’t have time for that “luxury” then I would tell you that this is the answer of the loosers.
COME ON… Create some time for yourself… You will discover that you are missing important things in life. You are responsible for your happiness, not your husband nor your kids.

The WE Plan:
We said we are happy whether married or not, but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna ignore our husbands. Problems can get you closer than you ever thought.
Goal: Improving our quality of life as a couple. Enjoying this gift that others don’t have.
Condition: Again: Do it to live a better life not to stop your husband from re marrying.

Steps:
1- Be the woman he fell in love with
Probably he didn’t fell in love with a whining fat frowning depressed lady. Don’t say he is the reason to what I am now. Be responsible, take an action & stop whining.

2- Try to find time for both of you away from the kids. Ask for help from your family, friends, neighbours.. and plan for a dinner with your husband alone, a walk, a trip.. whatever you can afford.

3- Refresh your bed life
Till I find the most proper way to post about this issue, here are some advices:
- Do kegel exercise a lot.
- Drink ginger tea a lot.
- Don’t get frustrated easily and be a strategic planner, if it didn’t go as you wished now, build accumulatively for other “meetings”.
- Since you are reading this now, this means you can go online & search for useful info to boost your sexual life.

4- Avoid listening to love songs or watching romance movies, they are talking about illusions my dear.

Finally, the above so-called plans will not guarantee that your husband will stop thinking of second marriage, but they can guarantee that you will be living a better life, Good luck

Welcome thirties!

Source: http://www.balloonmaniacs.com

During the last month I kept struggling to find a quiet time to write my blog post about the farewell of my twenties. I wanted to write it while I was still legally 29, cuz frankly I preferred to present myself to the outer world by launching my blog while I’m as young as 29.

I may seem more mature to care about such things, but I found out that I did care. I used to perceive ladies in their thirties as the “old” ladies who are trying hard to look younger, now I’m one of those. I used to wonder why are all these products promoting for a younger look: anti-wrinkles creams, goodbye to grey hair,…etc. Yet here I have to admit that seeing the first wrinkle in my eyes “shocked” me, I used the word “shocked” cuz I can’t find the right word to describe the mixed feelings I got at that time.

The good news is that I couldn’t find time to write this in my third decade AND nothing happened.

So what? (Mekki style) I still believe I’m 19 anyway.

Yes seriously, once this day happened to begin… I had no more hard feelings towards the number 30.

I woke up just more grateful to Allah for all the blessings I’ve had in my life. No matter if some dreams haven’t come true, I believe that the best is yet to come Insha’Allah.

Whether I’m going to live for 1 more hour or 30 more years.. I will do my best to live them fulfilling the purpose of my presence in this life knowing that everything I do counts in the life-after.

I was planning to name this post as “Good bye twenties” but I’m so happy I changed the title to “Welcome thirties”